Romeo, Romeo where for art thou ... anyone?!

So you've reached that time in your life when suddenly you have looked up and around you are most of your friends all loved up in relationships...

 

Its not that it bothers you because actually you're pretty content as you are. I mean I for one absolutely love that I can do whatever I want to do, see who I want to see, get drunk and dance around like a nutter with no one to answer to in the morning. Its absolutely liberating and I love my independence... its more for me that thought deep down that thinks shit, should I be like everyone else now? Finding someone and 'dating'?!

 

I don't know about you but I'm afraid I am that one in the group who can sadly relate most to a mix of Bridget Jones and Jess from New Girl (please go and watch this program if you haven't - its absolutely brilliant). It's not that I don't try to pull off sexy, mysterious and desirable ... I just can't. Perhaps its the perils of having absolutely gorgeous friends but yes ladies, I am that girl who spills her drink over the hot guy or stacks it whilst trying my hardest to look composed or gets a text from said hot guy asking for the number of one of my pals ... its safe to say that in the big wide world of dating I wouldn't know the first thing about anything.

So for all you single ladies (and gents) out there who may just be feeling a bit like me and wondering what could possibly be worse then feeling lonely and like a third wheel, here are some of the best bits of single life:

 

You have more money to spend on yourself.
Without another half you instantly free yourself from the pressure of expensive Birthday and Christmas presents and frequent dinners, take aways and those anniversaries and valentines celebrations that you are never sure what to do for. Instead your hard earned money belongs to you and you can spend it however you wish. Save it, spend it it doesn't matter!

 

You have more time.
Relationships are hard work. When you aren't seeing each other you are texting or messaging or calling from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to sleep - it can be a 24 hour thing! As a singleton you only have time for yourself; this opens up more time for your friends, family and most importantly yourself! You can spend your free evenings dressing up for a night out with your friends or equally you can crash out on the sofa with a movie and no one need know about it. Time is such a precious thing so having more of it can only be a blessing right?

 

You have an all new appreciation for your friends.

Since being single I have definitely seen so much more of my friends and in turn my friendships are much stronger. When you don't have a partner you have to depend on your friends more; you open up to them, you tell them about your day and share your worries with them. This not only forms a stronger bond between you all but it also makes you realise how great your friends are and what a support they are to you. On the other hand you can also be there for them and give them your undivided attention so it definitely works both ways.

You have nothing tying you down.
With only yourself to worry about you have nothing restricting you to a certain place or plan. It is so liberating when you think that you can just pack up everything and go and it would only expand your horizons and bring you new friends and stories to tell. I am just applying for a job and I could be placed in one of seven regions in the country and I am so excited, albeit a little scared, but the thought of moving to a new place and getting to know it is really great. I am also in the middle of planning to travel for a few months next year and again I can plan this trip and it doesn't matter how long I go for or what I do when I am there; its completely on my terms and again, its a really liberating feeling.

 

You can work on your self-esteem.
Being in a relationship commits you to one person and quite rightly so; I am definitely not one for condoning any sort of cheating, or messing around as I believe once you are with someone you owe them your loyalty and respect. However as a single person you can go out and chat to whoever you want to, you can flirt and laugh and take advantage of the odd free drink - its absolutely fine! Embrace the world of dating, go out for dinners and relish the attention; as long as you are being safe and careful this is your time to be noticed or to notice other people, so its time to look good, feel good and get out there!

You don't have to worry so much about the finer details.
(Sorry guys but this one is more for the ladies) Girls I am sure you will all agree with me, but single life allows us to 'relax' a little in the cosmetics department. We don't have to worry all the time about what we look like, when we crash out in our joggers and sweats with no make up on and greasy hair, we can! Your legs don't need to be clean shaven every day of the week and you don't have to worry about morning breath or plucking your eyebrows on those days when you really can't be bothered. Of course when we are out on the town or there is a special occasion we can then go all out, dress to impress and relish in the fact that tomorrow no one is going to see you scoffing a dominoes in your pjs!

You can rediscover yourself.
More than anything, being single is a time for you to get to know and love you. Sometimes for people who have been in bad relationships a lot of damage has been done to your self esteem and you may not even be aware of it. If a relationship is not particularly healthy you may look back at it and realise that you were constantly put down, or laughed at or controlled and this may have really had an impact on how you feel about yourself long after the relationship has ended. Being single is a time to draw a line under that person you used to be and reinvent yourself. You can like whatever music you want to, you can buy that outfit you always wanted but didn't buy because you knew your other half would hate it. Start new hobbies, take on challenges and surround yourself with people who make you feel good - this really is a time to learn about you and what makes you tick and once you are back in a relationship you may never get this precious time again.

 

Relationships are amazing things; there is no doubt that being in a happy and healthy relationship is a gift and its the best feeling. I have many gorgeous friends who are in great relationships and wouldn't look back and I am by no means saying that being in a relationship is a negative thing - far from it! What I am saying is people who are single and maybe feeling a bit lost can forget the positives of being single and there are so many of those too.

I am a firm believer in love and fate and somewhere out there is someone for everyone, you may have even met them already or know them already (weird!) but right now it just isn't your time. Hang on in there and get embracing your freedom because one day you might wish you had it back.

So for all you singletons out there, take life by the balls and go and have some fun - you're gorgeous so don't stop smiling (you never know who might be paying you attention!) x

Job Interviews.

I am back and have made a vow to myself to set aside a weekly slot to dedicate solely to my blog.
In my defence I have been really busy, taking my first baby steps into the big wide world of job-hunting but sadly no longer for a part time job to feed my social life when the student loan has gone, but instead for an actual career!

I had my first real experience of a 'grown up' job interview last week and I must say it was a real adventure.
It was in London, so involved a lot of planning and travelling before I had even got to the interview itself. Now, for those of you out there who find the prospect of travelling anywhere on a train, on your own, quite daunting you will understand how I felt. Then throw in the fact that once you get to your destination you then have to navigate yourself through the busy streets of London under time pressure and you really are creating a recipe for disaster.

It was a very early start; having wolfed down a cereal bar and taken one sip from my boiling hot tea as I ran out the door (its always the nicest cup of tea when you don't have time to finish it) I was sat in my car driving to the station, the early morning radio stations playing upbeat songs, probably trying to help you wake up and feel chirpy, I am afraid there is nothing to be chirpy about at 6 o'clock in the morning.
I reached the station which was already packed full of cars and men in their suits locking up as they headed into the station. Being a newbie to the morning commute I parked up and went to get my ticket and off into the station I went.
Standing at the platform was actually quite peaceful, after of course I had checked, double checked and triple checked that I was at the right station, on the right platform and waiting for the right train (as I said, baby steps). There were so many people around which was quite a pleasant surprise at this time of day, although it was clear no one was in the mood to talk, or smile at that.
Despite my very best intentions of looking alert and reading through my interview notes on the train, within about twenty minutes I was fast asleep.
I was awoken an hour later by an older man, dressed in a very expensive looking suit, warning me that the train had reached London Bridge. I tried to awake gracefully but I think it was clear to him that I was really not ready for this day and in hindsight I probably owed him an apology for falling asleep on his shoulder for the majority of the journey.

I left the train with the crowds of London commuters, all walking briskly with a purpose; no doubt they do this journey all the time and you can tell - some of them literally did have their eyes shut! I followed the crowds through the barriers and after having to get change so I could pay 30p to use the toilet (I have never understood how they can put a price on going to the toilet) I actually managed to find the interview building remarkably quickly despite getting a little bit lost.

The interview lasted a whole day and was a pretty draining experience ... I have put together a few little tips for all you guys out there who have big interviews coming up that like me are a bit scatty and prone to disaster...

1) Plan your travels way ahead but when it comes to it be ready to pluck up the courage to ask for help
I printed out all the maps and had my journey in my head but upon leaving the station and reading 'head north-west' I was instantly lost! I had no idea where to go and the more confused I got the more I panicked. Even consulting google maps didn't help and so I had to ask a passer by for some directions. She was actually really kind and really helpful so don't be afraid to ask someone, especially in London where everyone around you can look busy.

2) Dress to impress but think practical
So the dress code was 'professional' which is always a little trickier for the ladies as we have so many more options and don't just have to dust off our finest suits (gents!) but find something that makes you feel comfortable. I do think wearing heels can be a brilliant thing, they give you confidence and can actually make you stand taller with better posture so I went for a small heel BUT for the train journey and the 15 minute walk through London I actually wore my flip flops! Despite getting a few strange looks I was comfortable and was able to keep up with the crowds without breaking an ankle ... just do remember to change into your heels before you enter the interview building (whoops!)

3) Be confident from the outset
Its so important, especially in groups situations to stand your ground. Being in a group of about thirty other applicants, it was really clear to me how important it is for you to make an impact on the crowd and let your presence be known. There will always be someone who takes control and tries to phase everyone else or intimidate them but when you clock that person stay alert but focus on you and how you come across; let them remember you for the right reasons.

4) Don't over analyse
Once a section or stage of the interview is done it is over. You can't go back and change anything so just use all that energy and adrenaline to drive the next stage!

Whatever you do keep calm and go for it!
Good luck guys! x